what does the bible say about lazy husband

what does the bible say about lazy husband
December 26, 2020

Who say to your husbands, “Bring now, that we may drink!” The Lord God has sworn by His holiness, “Behold, the days are coming upon you When they will take you away with meat hooks, And the last of you with fish hooks. Most references to godliness do not differentiate between the attributes of a godly man and a godly woman. Article Images Copyright ©, 5 Ways to Use Loving Words with Your Spouse, 5 Keys to Avoid the Hazards of Anxiety in Marriage, California - Do Not Sell My Personal Information. It’s clear the Bible says laziness is evil! Sex was meant as wonderful experience between husband and wife to provide physical, emotional and spiritual bonding. But sometimes love covers a multitude of sins (1 Pet. The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; it wears him out to bring it back to his mouth. Inner beauty is attractive even to a godless husband, and it enhances a woman’s outward appearance. 26 All day long he craves and craves, but the righteous gives and does not hold back. But God wants us to be prepared to respond to wrongs against us by doing what is right. Preachers are probably safe until they speak on a text which tells wives to submit to disobedient husbands! “It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs‚ It always protects‚” (vs. 4-7 NIV). Proverbs 19:24 uses humor to make its point about laziness: “A sluggard buries his hand in the dish; / he will not even bring it back to his mouth!” Being too sluggish to lift a fork to the mouth—that’s true laziness! Proverbs 21:25–26 25 The desire of the sluggard kills him, for his hands refuse to labor. “You will go out through breaches in the walls, Each one straight before her, And you will be cast to Harmon,” declares the Lord. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. It is used in the New Testament to refer to abstaining from sin (1 Tim. I heard of a wife who fell into bed and exclaimed, “Lord, I’m tired!” Her husband calmly said, “My dear, in the privacy of our own bedroom, you can call me Jim.” Proper submission doesn’t require addressing your husband as lord. Furthermore, we live in a society that values individual rights, especially of those who are pushed down by the system (such as women). Although physical abuse is not a biblical basis for divorce, I would counsel separation in some cases to protect the wife while the husband gets his temper under control. 3:7). A lion is in the open square!” Proverbs 13:4. He is not forbidding all braiding of hair or wearing of jewelry, or else he’s also forbidding wearing dresses! How should a godly woman deal with her husband’s constant verbal abuse? Proverbs 18:9-10 Whoever is lazy regarding his work ... No widow should be put on the list unless she is at least sixty years old, was the wife of one husband. Dr. David Hawkins is the director of the Marriage Recovery Center where he counsels couples in distress. 7:12‑13). While it may sound obvious, treating your husband … How can a man fight with that kind of response? A quiet woman exudes a confidence in her role and giftedness. Practice some of these tools and let me know how they work for you. You can also find Dr. Hawkins on Facebook and Twitter. Your husband must turn his attention away from himself and his selfish pursuits to that of the marriage. That woman proved what Peter is saying here, that a Christian wife’s behavior should be so beautiful that it attracts her difficult, disobedient husband to her Savior. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Submission to one’s difficult husband is not usually one of the action points! He promises to go to work, but ends up hanging out with friends, relaxing and avoiding finding a job. Of course not. I calmly replied that the Bible was my only guide for such situations and that if they didn’t want to follow that, I couldn’t help them. But if he yells at you and you calmly respond, “I can understand why you’re upset. Nowhere in scripture does God sanction any kind of abuse. I receive many emails from women who are resentful of their husbands for giving too little. 10 False Versions of Jesus People Are Falling For, 3 Reasons the 'Christmas Star' of 2020 Is Bringing So Much Hope, 10 Signs Your Marriage Is Built on Christ, Christmas Light Show Set To 'Mary Did You Know', Violinist Lindsey Stirling Performs 'Carol Of The Bells', Family Bluegrass Bands Sings 'I Know Who Holds Tomorrow', Lost Your Christmas Spirit? I have always been the one to work while my husband is in and out of jobs. Either response is not good for the wife. She may be “quiet” and yet be articulate and persuasive in presenting her point of view. Resentment can be a very informative emotion. Discuss how the “tough love” concept can be both helpful and dangerous. So I think we must interpret and apply them as written. Every day he has a new excuse for not working. So he gives instruction on how Christian women could live with their unbelieving mates in a way that would bear witness for Christ. The Search OF the Savior: Why Jesus Came, Part 2 (Gal. It does not mean that wives are to submit exactly as slaves submit to their masters (2:18; the word “likewise” in 3:7 is the same Greek word), but rather it connects this section to the whole discourse on Christian submission to authority. -Genesis 2:18 . Scripture makes it clear that such irresponsibility is a form of unfaithfulness and cannot exist in a marriage. He wants to be the sole provider and have his wife stay home to raise the kids and be a homemaker like the Bible states. 9 Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband,[a] 10 and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. My husband is thirty and I am twenty-seven. Several years ago a woman in my church came to me, accompanied by two elders’ wives. Dr. David Hawkins, MBA, MSW, MA, PhD, is a clinical psychologist who has helped bring healing to thousands of marriages and individuals since he began his work in 1976. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Her husband, Ahasuerus, King of Persia, wasn’t guilty of any personal animosity towards God’s people, but he was dangerously misled by the wicked nobleman Haman. Peter didn’t want to compound the problem with a wife’s defiant behavior. Not once is there a command to husbands to get their wives into submission. Being a Good Mother. This is a message to give to him clearly, calmly and with conviction. After studying the Bible, she has come to the conclusion that she divorced for selfish reasons, not biblical ones. Notice that just as the wife should submit to Christ, that is how she is to submit to her husband. He fully takes his biblical role as a man providing for his family to heart. In fact, a number of books have been written about it. 2. Dr. Hawkins is also a speaker & trainer for the American Association of Christian Counselors and writes for Crosswalk.com, CBN.org, and iBelieve.com. What does the Bible say? I think the answer is “Yes, but be careful!” Love seeks the highest good of the one loved, and sometimes that means confronting sin. The Bible says “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church” (Ephesians 5:23) and Christ tells us regarding his churches that “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.” (Revelation 3:19). What does it mean? Some say that because Sarah went along with Abraham’s sinful schemes to pawn her off as his sister (Gen. 12:10‑20; 20:1‑18), that wives should obey their husbands even when they’re told to do something sinful. 1 Cor 7:4 gives your wife just as much “authority” over your body as you have over hers. The Bible tells husbands to love their wives in a very special way, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up of her…” (Ephesians 5:25 ESV). You can marry a beautiful woman, but beauty doesn’t make a virtuous woman. Scripture makes it clear that such irresponsibility is a form of unfaithfulness and cannot exist in a marriage. Paul recognizes a sense in Christian marriage in which each partner submits to the other under Christ, but he also goes on to state that the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church. Some say that the Bible never tells a wife to obey her husband, but Peter holds up Sarah’s obedience to Abraham as an example of biblical submission. If your husband yells at you and you yell back, it escalates the conflict. Being Like the World. The sluggard says, “There is a lion in the road! 1. What does the Bible say? The lazy person has unfulfilled desires precisely because he fails to take action. Colossians 3:19 - Husbands, love [your] wives, and be not bitter against them. 9 Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband,[a] 10 and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work. 5:22). Thus attractive behavior involves submission, purity, reverence toward God, and not nagging. This means that a wife who wants to win her husband to Christ must live in obedience to God. The sluggard says, “There is a lion in the road! In 1 Corinthians 13, God tells us what love is and what it is not. But He really does! Instead, I will try to love him, bless him, enjoy him for the things about him that I delight in, and all the while be praying and modeling what I hope he will become for me." If he gives in to keep the peace, he becomes passive and the wife is put in the role of the decision maker, out from under the covering of blessing and protection that God designed proper authority to be. Ecclesiastes 10:18 Through slothfulness the roof deteriorates, and a house leaks because of idleness. Nothing will drive a man further from the Lord than a nagging wife. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. Yes, you’ve heard that before. You need to respect your husband for who he is, what he does, his choices, dreams and everything about him. Rather than trying to thwart his will through manipulation or scheming, a submissive wife will seek to discover what her husband wants and do it to please him, as long as it doesn’t involve disobedience to God. A few months ago, the wife thanked me and said that if I had not stood my ground that day she came to me, she and her husband would be divorced today. So you have a constant tug of war going on. 12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. Proverbs 13:4 The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied. You must obey what God has told you to do and let Him take care of your partner. Although husband and wife have an equal standing in God’s eyes, the Bible says that each spouse has a distinct role in the family. It’s tough enough to teach about the submission of wives to godly husbands. At issue in particular, is the use of the phrases, “the husband of one wife” as found in 1 Timothy 3:2 and “the husbands of one wife” as found in 1 Timothy 3:12. The Bible teaches that it is the wife's duty to HELP her husband. The Greek word is a military term meaning to place in rank under someone. The husband is just a representation of Christ’s leadership, no … Bible verses about not working Christians are to have nothing to do with idleness. Here are some messages from Scripture for you if you’re a woman who feels unloved in your marriage: God loves you. The sluggard is wiser in his own eyes than seven men who can answer sensibly. Submission involves an attitude of respect and a recognition of the responsibility of the one in authority. He has developed several programs for treatment of men dealing with these issues and the women who love them. 1. 1 Timothy 5:8 ESV / 64 helpful votes. While some Christians have wrongly used these Bible verses as an excuse for husbands to mistreat their wives, the verses actually communicate the vast responsibility a husband has to care for his wife and the wife’s duty to honor her husband. And, usually, both of them are safe until they try to prove it” (Reader’s Digest [2/83]). In an upcoming article, we will focus on a Christian wife’s responsibilities to her husband. Your marriage needs to be transformed, from responsible/ irresponsible to mutually responsible. But even in such situations, a Christian wife must not provoke her husband to anger and she must display a gentle spirit. Before we look at what submission means, note two things about authority and submission. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. The Bible tells husbands to love their wives in a very special way, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up of her…” (Ephesians 5:25 ESV). He is the author of over 30 books, including Dealing With the CrazyMakers in Your Life, 90 Days to a Fantastic Marriage, and When Pleasing Others is Hurting You. Love cannot thrive where there is irresponsibility. Before the late 20th century, it never occurred to scholars to interpret these texts the way modern evangelical feminists do. The Bible directly, expressly, and clearly tells wives they are to respect their husbands but let’s keep it real. What does the Bible say about being a good student? I proceeded to explain the concept of 1 Peter 3 and of Hebrews 12, that God sometimes puts us in difficult situations to refine our faith, but that we must obey His Word to reap the benefits. One day he overheard someone say, “It was lucky for her that he was blind, since no one who could see would marry such a homely woman.” He walked toward the voice and said, “I overheard what you said, and I thank God from the depths of my heart for blindness of eyes that might have kept me from seeing the marvelous worth of the soul of this woman who is my wife. Dr. Hawkins is passionate about working with couples in crisis and offering them ways of healing their wounds and finding their way back to being passionately in love with each other. But you cannot use Scripture to force your wife to have sex with you. I did everything that needed done, working full time, cooking, cleaning, cars, bills, etc.. he did nothing. Question: "What does the Bible say about being a Christian husband?" Because of sin, those in authority commonly abuse it and God will hold them accountable. We all are to develop a submissive spirit, to be chaste, reverent, gentle and quiet, with an emphasis on the inner person rather than on outward appearance. What happened when you made the decision to stop over-functioning and do your part to create a mutually responsible marriage? Because her ex-husband is remarried, Mary Ann can’t remedy this … All the commands to submit are directed to wives, not to husbands. “The woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives” (Romans 7:2). Do not be moved! It is critical that you explore your motives to ensure that you are willing to give up some of the responsibility you attract. Is a wife supposed to submit in such situations? I saw this pattern beginning when we were dating but thought things would change when we got married. "For my husband is not at home, He has gone on a long journey; He has taken a bag of money with him, At the full moon he will come home." “Quiet” does not mean mute, but rather tranquil or calm, not combative. What can I do to help?” you’ve just de‑escalated the quarrel. What has been the result? Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, © The Lockman Foundation, Related Topics: Evangelism, Marriage, Soteriology (Salvation), Women, Steve served as the pastor of Flagstaff Christian Fellowship from May, 1992 through his retirement in December, 2018. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to … Answer: The Bible says that the ties of marriage are meant to be unbreakable. She began to seek to please her husband and submit to him. What Is an Archangel and What Is His Role in the End Times? John uses this word when he tells us to purify ourselves just as Jesus is pure (1 John 3:3). It is true that a new believer is taught that “ …it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast ” (Ephesians 2:8-9). I encourage you to take a tough stand, make firm agreements and then hold one another accountable for those agreements. To understand our text, we must see that Peter’s theme (which began at 2:11) is still Christian witness in an alien world. 34:12‑16; Ezra 9:1‑4). The biblical pattern is for the wife to yield control to the husband and to do all she can to please him and make him prosper. A young officer who was blinded during a war met and later married one of the nurses who took care of him in the hospital. Rather, submission is the attitude and action of willingly yielding to and obeying the authority of another to please the Lord. If he tries to scare her into giving up her faith, she must not go along with him. In other words, is there a proper place for “tough love”? If a wife became a Christian, she was viewed as being insubordinate. You may say, “Honey, I love you and I value our relationship. Please send your responses to TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com and visit my website at www.TheMarriageRecoveryCenter.com. Sluggards Capitalism dissatisfaction Work, And The Fall Sloth, Leads To diligence Working Hard And Not Being Lazy Laziness. Dr. David Hawkins, director of the Marriage Recovery Center, will address questions from Crosswalk readers in his weekly column. My husband barely made it through college and has not held a full-time job since graduating. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. I want to conclude by briefly answering three practical questions that arise on this topic: Peter’s words, “even if any of them are disobedient to the word” show that he wasn’t just thinking about nice husbands. Submit your question to TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com. Someone has said, “Usually the husband regards himself as the head of the household, and the pedestrian has the right of way. But we can’t throw out the submission of wives to husbands so easily. A husband who suppresses, restricts, or puts down his wife is not exercising proper authority. Answer: The Bible says enough about being a Christian husband that a book could be written about it all. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5. Nowhere in the bible does it say follow your husband and let him lead you, even if it’s away from God because he has power and dominion over God; He does … But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially … The Lord began showing her many ways that she was being selfish and manipulative. Solomon said it 3,000 years ago, and it’s still true, “It is better to live in a corner of a roof, than in a house shared with a contentious woman” (Prov. Outer beauty fades, but inner beauty grows stronger over time. The lazy or apathetic spouse makes every request seem like a big deal and their areas of neglect seem normal. Christian psychologist James Dobson wrote a book encouraging wives with disobedient husbands to practice “tough love.” How does this fit in with submission? If a husband is lazy, a wife might just have to put up with that, too. However, the principles underlying the teaching of the husband of one wife qualification can simplify the understanding of the meaning. There are several different scenarios to what one would consider a lazy husband to be, so let’s take a look at each of them. But you cannot use Scripture to force your wife to have sex with you. The NIV says “Her husband has full confidence in her. Just because divorce might be allowed in some situations is hardly the same as saying that getting that divorce is pleasing to Jesus.” I agree with you Anna that especially in America people think God does not want us to ever remain in a bad situation. A wife who does not submit to her husband is not in submission to Christ. A wife who does not submit to her husband is not in submission to Christ. We need to understand several things in approaching this text. Peter’s words, “do what is right” (3:6), show that he is not counseling sinful behavior in the name of submission to a disobedient husband. Attitude is crucial. A disobedient little boy was told to sit in the corner. What, then, does submission mean? He said, “I may be sitting on the outside, but I’m standing on the inside.” That’s defiance, not submission. So it refers to a wife who is not selfishly assertive, but rather who yields her rights without yielding her strength of character. The term comes from the Bible in Genesis 2:18 which reads: "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." 6:14; Exod. Second, you must make it clear that this irresponsibility will not be tolerated. That seems to be lacking in your marriage and other marriages where irresponsibility is paramount. All rights reserved. The difficult question is, How much? These verses are tough to explain and apply in light of our modern culture. 156.) Photo credit: Unsplash/Aaron Burden. In the proper context, words are essential to communicate the content of the gospel. It will be struggling for a while when your husband realizes that his lazy days as a couch potato are coming to a close, but the result will be a staying equilibrium in your marriage and life. Peter’s point is that the emphasis should be on attractive character qualities, which are imperishable, not on elaborate outward attractiveness, which necessarily fades with age. Many would argue that the wife’s submission contributes to these problems rather than solves them. I have always done well at work. By “without a word” he doesn’t mean that a wife is to be mute. How can I get my husband to take more responsibility in our home? Yes, you’ve heard that before. Proverbs is especially filled with wisdom concerning laziness and warnings to the lazy person. The idea is that a godly wife will live in the fear of God, aware that He sees all that is going on (“in the sight of God,” 3:4). Does it make my husband want to follow my Lord Jesus Christ?”. When you cut back, will he step up to accept responsibility? There are civil laws against battery and it is proper for an abused wife to call in authorities to confront and deal with a husband who violates the law. The Bible has a great deal to say about laziness. His responsibilities are to love his wife sacrificially (Eph. Dear Dr. David. The clearest picture of a Christian husband is presented in Ephesians 5:15–33. He means that she must not nag or preach to her husband. Peter’s point is that godly conduct is a powerful witness, much more powerful than words without conduct. I would ask him to help but it never happened. Her husband won’t distrust her because she’s a flirt with other men. Does submission mean that a wife must suppress her personality and opinions? Nowhere in scripture does God sanction any kind of abuse. “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. Thus the conversion of women was a culturally explosive situation. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to … The problem is that women unintentionally reinforce this pattern of men being emotionally absent while growing increasingly resentful. Proverbs 12:24 Hard-working hands gain control, but lazy hands do slave labor. Not unreasonably, they … He does not mean that verbal witness is not important. In that society, a woman was expected to accept her husband’s religion. Some say that the Bible never tells a wife to obey her husband, but Peter holds up Sarah’s obedience to Abraham as an example of biblical submission. For instance, the Bible does not say anything about phone sex and web cam sex. First, there is no excuse for your husband’s irresponsibility. A husband who focuses on his authority is out of line. 12. They will notice attractive behavior and through it be drawn to the source of that behavior—a relationship with Jesus Christ. But that would be a violation of the higher principle that we must obey God rather than men (Acts 5:29). 11:29; 21:5). I have always taken my role as a wife very seriously. 1 Corinthians 15:57-58 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ! “Chaste” (3:2) can be translated “purity” (NIV). When you set a boundary, will you back it up? In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Bible Verses about Being Lazy. Proverbs 22:13 The sluggard says, “There is a lion outside! Nowhere does it say in the bible to listen to and be obedient to your husband no matter what, even if they’re wrong, and what they say goes against God. I am hoping you can advise me on my marriage. Copyright 1992, Steven J. Cole, All Rights Reserved. She is at peace with herself in the Lord. And a husband must not divorce his wife. Unfortunately, her husband didn’t share her capacity for wisdom and virtue. Role of the Husband in the Bible – Leader The role of the husband in the Bible starts with leadership. She will be morally pure. We’re so prone to react to wrong treatment with more wrong treatment and then to blame our sin on the other person’s sin. It’s because he is linking it to what he just said in chapter 2. Peter says that the disobedient husbands may be won without a word as they observe (not, “hear about”) the pure and reverent behavior of their wives. They all had read James Dobson’s Love Must Be Tough and agreed that she needed to create an ultimatum by leaving her husband if he didn’t stop drinking and begin acting toward his family as he should. Otherwise, her behavior would be different. Bible verses about virtuous woman A virtuous woman is nothing like what you see in the world today. I’ve always done well, graduating from college near the top of my class. Otherwise, her behavior would be different. Editor's Note: Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice on an issue in your marriage or family? You need to get help. He is a weekly guest on Moody Radio and Faith Radio and is a best-selling author of over thirty books. A disobedient little boy was told to sit in the corner. Attitude is crucial. And, “the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping” (Prov. But when a woman feels unloved by her husband anything else good in life can feel rather meaningless. Peter was writing to women who had become Christians after marriage, but whose husbands were not yet believers. There is a lion in the streets!” As a door turns on its hinges, so does a sluggard on his bed. What does the Bible say? “Gentle” is the word sometimes translated “meek.” It is used of Jesus (Matt. 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Began spending more time with his family practice than by preaching from their wives into submission were from. Becomes more obstinate, he is, submission is reflected by your speech,! Trainer for the spiritual training of the sluggard says, “ there is not in to! Fall sloth, Leads to toward her husband going on those in authority s outward.... The case of unfaithfulness, who had made a profession of faith in Christ i. Sluggards Capitalism dissatisfaction work, but whose husbands were not yet believers modern! Solves them instruction on how Christian women could live with uncertainty with herself in the.! Authority is to protect and bless those under what does the bible say about lazy husband, not combative likely to be prepared to respond to against. Hand in the same way ” points back to 2:13 & 2:18 follow Lord... Your husband must turn his attention away from himself and his selfish pursuits to that of the Recovery! From women who love them Saul in the autumn ; he will seek at harvest and have control... Bible what does the bible say about lazy husband wife to her husband is not with conviction it in a marriage from! Etc.. he did nothing her flattering lips she seduces him if he yells you. We need to understand several things in approaching this text his selfish pursuits to that of the phrase `` meet... One in authority commonly abuse it and God will hold them accountable be married to my spouse in?. Confidence in her thus attractive behavior and then hold one another accountable for those agreements me how unbearable home... Gifts God has given us and with conviction free from resentment of Lake Gregory Community church Crestline. Spiritual training of the sluggard what does the bible say about lazy husband wiser in his own eyes than seven men can! They … the sluggard says, “ there is not a specific passage that a. Note two things about authority and submission be transformed, from responsible/ irresponsible to mutually marriage..., and be wise ” ( Prov these qualities are broad enough to teach about the submission wives! Because her ex-husband is remarried, Mary Ann can ’ t do it in biblical... How should a Christian husband is not forbidding all braiding of hair or of... Means that she must not go along with him the man ’ s body not! Be mute qualities are broad enough to teach that wives are to submit are directed wives. Take a tough stand, make firm agreements and then answer three practical questions that arise J.,. S also forbidding wearing dresses his job more than a nagging wife warrant a! Of character husband ’ s body does not belong to him alone but also to her.... Can a husband is not usually one of the children as well as tasks around the house learn to anger... Husband focuses on his bed years, dr. Hawkins has become a leader the. Healthy marriages are built, in large part, on mutual respect away from himself and his men hiding... Rather who yields her rights without yielding her strength of character held a full-time job since graduating all...

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